Psalm 22 opens with the following phrase: לִמְנַצֵּחַ עַל אַיֶּלֶת הַשַּׁחַר - and it turns out to be rather difficult to translate. One translation is “To the chief Musician upon Aijeleth Shahar,” which is not really much of a translation. Another translation is “For the leader; according to “The deer of the dawn.””
The rabbis may have understood the words, but they found the meaning of this verse to be challenging. In today’s page of Talmud there are three explanations. The first comes from Rabbi Abahu:
יומא כט,א
דִּכְתִיב: ״לִמְנַצֵּחַ עַל אַיֶּלֶת הַשַּׁחַר״, מָה אַיָּלָה זוֹ קַרְנֶיהָ מַפְצִילוֹת לְכָאן וּלְכָאן, אַף שַׁחַר זֶה מַפְצִיעַ לְכָאן וּלְכָאן.
It is as it is written: “For the leader, about the morning hind” (Psalms 22:1); just as the antlers of a hind branch out from here to there, so too, the light of dawn diffuses from here to there.
This explanation is an atmospheric one. Just as the antlers of a deer grow in several different directions, so to the light of the dawn, known as אַיֶּלֶת הַשַּׁחַר “ayelet hashahar” - is diffused in many directions.(One of the many meanings of the phrase אַיֶּלֶת הַשַּׁחַר is “the morning star, “which is the name of the planet Venus.)
Another explanation comes from Rabbi Assi, who links Queen Esther to the appearance of the dawn:
אָמַר רַבִּי אַסִּי: לָמָּה נִמְשְׁלָה אֶסְתֵּר לְשַׁחַר — לוֹמַר לָךְ: מָה שַׁחַר סוֹף כל הַלַּיְלָה, אַף אֶסְתֵּר סוֹף כל הַנִּסִּים
Rabbi Assi said: Why was Esther likened to the dawn? It is to tell you: Just as the dawn is the conclusion of the entire night, so too, Esther was the conclusion of all miracles performed for the entire Jewish people.
That’s nice. But it is on the explanation of Rabbi Zeira that we will focus:
אָמַר רַבִּי זֵירָא: לָמָּה נִמְשְׁלָה אֶסְתֵּר לְאַיָּלָה — לוֹמַר לָךְ: מָה אַיָּלָה רַחְמָהּ צַר וַחֲבִיבָה עַל בַּעְלָהּ כל שָׁעָה וְשָׁעָה כְּשָׁעָה רִאשׁוֹנָה, אַף אֶסְתֵּר הָיְתָה חֲבִיבָה עַל אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ כל שָׁעָה וְשָׁעָה כְּשָׁעָה רִאשׁוֹנָה
Rabbi Zeira said: Why is Esther likened to a doe? It is to tell you: Just as in the case of a doe its womb is narrow and it is desirable to its mate at each and every hour like it is at the first hour, so too, Esther was desirable to Ahasuerus at each and every hour like she was at the first hour.
Rabbi Zeira here articulates a very surprising explanation, whose purpose was to praise Esther's anatomy. He claims that the vagina of the female deer (and not the uterus, even though that is the usual translation of the word rechem,) is especially “narrow” and so the male deer finds intercourse especially pleasurable. (A female deer is called called a doe or a hind, from where we get the Yiddish word for a deer - hinda.) So too, the wicked Persian King Ahasuerus longed for intercourse with Esther and found each time as pleasurable as the first.
So a couple of things. First, the vagina of a deer is not especially narrow. It is the perfect size for what it needs to do. It is no more comparatively narrow than that of a dog, a monkey, or a whale, and there no evidence whatsoever that male deer have a greater urge to mate than does the male of any other species. Indeed, it is the very presence of those other species on the planet that indicates that the mating urge of the males of each of those species is perfect, thank you very much. Even that of the Black Widow spider, in whom the tiny male mates with the larger female, only to be eaten alive, in an example of what biologists call sexual cannibalism.
Second, Rabbi Zeira’s midrashic explanation in fact tells us about his mindset, rather than revealing any fact of the natural world. A man longs for intercourse with a woman who has a narrow, or tight vagina. That is what Rabbi Zeira is saying. But before you mutter something inappropriate under your breath, you should realize that this fantasy is still prevalent, and can be found in the medical literature.
The Husband Stitch
Here is a 2020 entry from Medical News Today about “the husband stitch.”
The “husband stitch” refers to an extra stitch that some women may have received after vaginal delivery led to their perineum becoming cut or torn.
This stitch extends beyond what is necessary to repair a natural tear during childbirth or a cut from an episiotomy. The supposed purpose of the husband stitch is to tighten the vagina to its predelivery state.
It is important to note that the husband stitch is neither an accepted practice nor an approved medical procedure. Researchers have gathered most of the evidence about the husband stitch from the testimony of women who have had it and from healthcare workers who have witnessed it.
The origin of the husband stitch, or vaginal tightening surgery, traces back to the mid-1950s.
While repairing a vaginal delivery tear or episiotomy, a gynecologist would tighten the entrance of a woman’s vagina by adding an extra stitch.
Doctors stated that this procedure could improve a woman’s well-being by preserving the size and shape of the vagina, either to increase the frequency of her orgasms or to enhance a man’s pleasure in intercourse. At that time, it was also called the husband’s knot or a vaginal tuck.
Is the husband stitch an urban legend? No. Here is an excerpt from a peer-reviewed paper that appeared in Seminars in Plastic Surgery titled Aesthetic surgery of the female genitalia:
Vaginal laxity, as it is called, is a common complaint among parous women. Although women report that reduced sexual sensation is the most common specific symptom of vaginal laxity, it is not clear that this phenomenon is directly related to sexual dysfunction.
Vaginal tightening surgery has been around since the mid fifties, where gynecologists used to tighten the entrance of a woman's vagina with an extra stitch while repairing vaginal and perineum tears or episiotomies after giving birth. At that time it was notoriously known as the “husband's stitch,” the “husband's knot,” or the “vaginal tuck,” and doctors discreetly referred to this procedure as “improving a woman's well-being.”
The goal of these procedures is to reconstruct (or to narrow) the lower third of the vagina, which includes “the orgasmic platform, internal and external vaginal diameter (introitus) and the perineal body.” The procedure enhances vaginal muscle tone strength and control, and decreases internal and external vaginal diameters. Women choosing to have their vaginas tightened are generally healthy women without true functional disorders.
In vaginal tightening procedures, portions of mucosa are excised from the vaginal fornices (via scalpel, needle electrode, or laser) to surgically “tighten” the lower third of the vagina. Presently there is no standardization of this procedure: It can be an anterior colporrhaphy, a high-posterior colporrhaphy, an excision of lateral vaginal mucosa, or a combination…known complications are localized infection and vaginal bleeding. Ninety five percent of patients treated with lateral colporrhaphy reported an improvement in sexual sensitivity, as well as greater vaginal tightness at the 6 months follow-up
Rabbi Ziera’s explanation of the first verse of Psalm 22 reflects this male fantasy, one which today, some women will accomodate by undergoing surgery. Rather than shy away from discussing these intimate and important areas of our life, the Talmud gives us an opportunity to explore them. It is up to us to do so with modesty, empathy and equity, while always giving the lead to women that for centuries, they were denied.
“They take the baby so that they may fix me where they cut. They give me something that makes me sleepy, delivered through a mask pressed gently to my mouth and nose. My husband jokes around with the doctor as he holds my hand.
– How much to get that extra stitch? he asks. You offer that, right?
– Please, I say to him. But it comes out slurred and twisted and possibly no more than a small moan. Neither man turns his head toward me.
The doctor chuckles. You aren’t the first –
I slide down a long tunnel, and then surface again, but covered in something heavy and dark, like oil. I feel like I am going to vomit.
– the rumor is something like –
– like a vir–
And then I am awake, wide awake, and my husband is gone and the doctor is gone. And the baby, where is –
The nurse sticks her head in the door.
– Your husband just went to get a coffee, she says, and the baby is asleep in the bassinet.
The doctor walks in behind her, wiping his hands on a cloth.
– You’re all sewn up, don’t you worry, he said. Nice and tight, everyone’s happy. The nurse will speak with you about recovery. You’re going to need to rest for a while.”
